Taking Him for Granted

The other day when I got home from work Joel asked me if I took him for granted.  It is kind of a hard question when I really think about it.  I expect him to be here, I depend on him to be here, I guess I do take that for granted.  I know he is here for us and supports us in the manner we have become accustomed.  I try and "soak in" these times together.  I do know there will come a time when he can't be here because of his duty to our country.  It is still a vivid memory for me of his time away in Iraq.  So, I guess the short answer to his question is "yes and no."  There are so many things people take for granted in a marriage, at least a happy marriage.  I take it for granted that he will be home with us each night (when he is not deployed, at drill or AT), I take it for granted that I am his only love interest, that he will support our family, and help me when I ask.  I'm sure there are many more, but I can't think of everything, we already confirmed that I have CRS.  Anyway, the no part of the answer is me making sure I do remember what it is like to do it all on my own.  It is remembering to say thank you ( and really mean it), even if it is something I think he "should" do.  That is the hard part of a marriage I think.  Remembering that we should be kind and polite to our spouses.  I know so many people who treat total strangers better than they treat their husbands.  I don't get it.
When people ask us the secret for a long happy marriage, I tell them that you have to have a husband that is gone a lot! :)  I like to joke about that, makes it easier if you can laugh about it.  But, sometimes when I really think about it, I think the separation gives us that time to really appreciate each other.  When he is gone and has to do all his own laundry and cooking, well, that makes him very appreciative of a dinner on the table and clean clothes hanging in the closet.  I love and appreciate the things he does on a whim.  I can't begin to count the number of times he has put gas in my car, or offered to make me breakfast.  I think that while there are certain aspects of our relationship that we take for granted, we still make sure that we take time for each other and let each other know how much better our lives are when we are together.