Changes

With the anniversary of 9/11 approaching, there have been many opportunities to look back and remember not only what happened that day, but also to remember what changes it has brought to our lives.  I have been using my dvr quite frequently this past week.  I have been taping all the shows the history channel has been airing about the event.  Since I am on the west coast and far from New York, DC, and Pennsylvania I'm sure that the events on 9/11 didn't affect me as significantly as those who were there.  I did however have some pretty big changes happen in my life due to those terrorist attacks.  When I think back to my life before that day and compare it to now, wow... I would have never guessed that this is where we would be.  I was working full time as a teacher in Fresno.  I had finally gotten placed in the first grade position I wanted at my school.  Joel was working toward getting his CPA license, and the kids were settling in at John Wash Elementary.  We had just moved back home to Sanger (from Kingsburg) in December of 2000.  Life was good.  We were farming raisins when we weren't at our regular jobs.  Both my kids loved swimming and swam for the Sanger Seals.  We were making wonderful friends and we were living close to family.
I will never forget that morning.  My husband listens to the radio in the morning and they reported that an airplane had hit one of the towers.  We got up and went to see it on the television news.  As we were watching, we saw the second plane hit, and subsequently saw the first tower come down to the ground.  It seemed such a foreign thought.  We were being attacked?  How could someone do this on purpose?  I think it was that evening that Joel and I had the first conversation about him going back into the guard.  He had requested to be placed on inactive reserve a few years earlier so he could focus on his career.  For me, the guard was not only giving back to our country, but also some extra money in our pockets.  My experience up to this point had him going to drill one weekend a month and then going to training for 2 weeks in the summer.  So, it seemed like the right thing to do.  Our country needed well trained soldiers and he wanted to give back.  It took a while to get all the paperwork fixed, but eventually Joel was back in serving his country, albeit in our own back yard.  But in 2004 we realized he was going to have to go to Iraq.  He was gone for the year 2005.  I am forever grateful to my family and friends who got me and our children through that time.  I had one goal the whole time he was gone, I wanted everything to be the same for them, except for their dad not being home.  That meant keeping up with our regular routine even though I was by myself.  I hated to ask for help, I was afraid I would wear out the welcome and then it wouldn't be there when I would really need it.  I had some great friends though, who would just offer before I would have to ask, they helped me more than they know.
Joel's return from Iraq brought about the greatest changes for the kids and me.  He decided that the guard was the direction he wanted to focus his career.  At first, there wasn't too much of a change.  Actually, I remember thinking, this is great, I don't have to iron his work clothes anymore!  But then they closed the armory in Fresno.  He started commuting to Modesto.  That was tough, but didn't even compare to when he got the job in Los Alamitos and was commuting to southern California, plus his drill weekends were in Dublin (near San Francisco).  So during that time he was home maybe 4 days a month.  We made the big, difficult decision to move to southern California in 2007.  It has been a long journey, but has brought about some wonderful opportunities for us.  We miss being with family, especially when we have those nice long holiday weekends (but can't get away because of the kids sporting events).  But we are making some lifelong friends and enjoying our time here.
So when I'm looking back and commemorating 9/11, I'm thinking about what might have been, but I am also looking at how much we have grown and changed for the better.  I don't take anything for granted anymore.