First Day of School

So today was the first day of school for the kids and me.  I have to say that I am thinking very positively about the coming school year.  For those of you that don't know, I "retired" from teaching a couple of years before we moved down south. I wanted to stay in the education field, but only work part time.  So I got a job as an aide in a kindergarten autism classroom.  It has been an amazing experience.  None of my college classes or professional development prepared me for this job.  I never, in ten years of teaching, came across autistic children.  I learned more about behavior management in that first year than in all 10 years of my teaching.  Anyway, wow, that was the long way around to this story, sorry about that.  Anyway, last year was the toughest year I have ever had, it was the kind of year that makes you sit back and wonder if you even want to come back to work again.  It was emotionally taxing and physically demanding.  On top of that, we were hit, kicked, bitten, scratched, you name it, it was done.  So, to say that I am positive about the coming year is a big deal.  I love the staff in the room, the teacher is amazing, and the kids, oh the kids seem so sweet... and calm, and quiet! (There was lots of screaming last year, forgot to mention that.  The kind of screams that happen right next to your head and you feel your ear drum vibrating, yeah, those are not much fun.) Anyway, I had a great first day of school...YAY for me!
So talking about first days, I was talking to a friend of mine tonight about our kids sharing with us about their school days.  She has two sons and she was explaining to me that it only took about 15 minutes to hear about the first day of school from her oldest son.  I had to laugh, because as a mother of a boy and a girl I get to see both sides.  What follows is a conversation with my son as I picked him up today from school:
     Me:  Hey Buddy! How was your first day?
     Son: Fine.
     Me:  Do you like your teachers?
     Son: They're OK.
     Me:  Do you have friends in your classes?
     Son: Yeah.
OK, I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture, it is like pulling teeth!  I'm the one doing all the talking!  And, I still don't know anything about his day!  Now, when I compare that to my conversation with my daughter?  Well, I came away from the hour long conversation knowing who she has in her classes, a few anecdotal stories of things that happened in some of her classes, which teachers she really likes, what extra items she is going to need for some of her classes, and just an overall feeling of her day. Funny, us girls, well we have something to say and we want someone to listen!
On a side note, I managed to cook dinner in the crock pot for tonight.  Another cheer for me!  It was good and it even made it nice for Will to eat something healthy before football practice and then (in Lord of the Rings fashion) he got to have a hot "second dinner."

Procrastination

What a day today.  It was the last day of summer vacation for the kids and me.  Tomorrow we all go back to school.  The feeling is bittersweet.  It is nice to have a purpose (and my job can be very rewarding), but I love summer and time away from work.  Anyway, due to my dread at going back to work, I also procrastinated at preparing my children to return to school.  So this morning started bright and early with a shopping trip for back to school clothes.  We were the first ones in the store this morning.  I guess it paid off waiting so long to shop though, we got some great deals.  The kids are happy and mom is happy that I still have both arms and legs.  ;)
Also went today and checked out the cost of a letterman's jacket for my daughter. Funny how the price they quote that includes all the things you want, somehow doesn't cover all the things the kid wants! Ouch, that will be a pretty penny. She is is good kid though, she deserves it. Plus, how could I let her work that hard and letter in two sports and not let her get a jacket?
If only my day stopped there, nope, I ran errands all day long!  How does that happen?  Well, I not only put off buying school clothes, I also think that Old Mother Hubbard would have had difficulty finding a bone in my cupboards.  After having two teenage boys all weekend and, well, just our regular eating habits, we were out of almost everything!  So three different stores later, cupboards are overflowing with healthy goodness.  Well, I can pretend can't I?  Suffice it to say, I bought lots of food, and it is stuff everyone likes.
So anyway, I barely made it home in time to throw all the cold items in the fridge, before we had to leave to take Will to football practice.  I enjoy watching the team though and it is time when I can sit and visit with my daughter.  After that we rush home and finally get dinner on the table by 8:30.  It just makes for a long day.
So, I was thinking that this whole day would have been so much easier if I hadn't procrastinated.  Wouldn't have had to be up so early for shopping, definitely wouldn't have had to buy so much food, and dinner?  Well that is the one I should have had under control.  I joined a page on facebook that has crockpot recipes.  I told myself this is what I need to be doing this time of year when we don't get home until late.  Then we all can still have a nice hot meal together.  So I researched and found which meal I wanted to make, I just needed a couple of ingredients from the store... ohhh darn so much for starting a meal that will cook by itself all day.  I will do better tomorrow, I have everything ready to throw in the crockpot in the morning... just hope everyone likes it.  I don't have a great history with crockpot meals, but that is another story.

Hanging On and Letting Go

Well today has me feeling some added stress.  For the past two years I have been chairman of the Serve-It-Up dinner for the girls volleyball booster club.  It is an evening that gathers all the players and their parents to meet coaches, learn about the program, enjoy a meal, and most importantly... collect money and volunteers for the coming year.  This year will be my daughter's last year since she is a senior.  So in an effort to help those that come after, this year I have found a replacement for myself and have been sharing any and all knowledge about how to pull this event off without a hitch.  Now before I continue, let me give you a bit of background information about me.  I'm a bit anal (not the having to do with the anus definition, but the obsessive, controlled one).  I have a really hard time letting go of the reins.  Flashback some 12 years... wonderful Christmas scene, carols playing, family enjoying hot cocoa while decorating the tree.  My beautiful, helpful children ages 5 and 2 are putting ornaments on the tree.  Me?  Oh, I'm standing aside practicing my calming breaths as my husband is snickering to himself because he knows it is KILLING me that the ornaments are all on the front of the tree and only about 3 feet high.  Oh, I managed to praise them and give lots of hugs and kisses about all their help, but guess who was up after their bedtime redecorating the tree?  Yeah, that was me.  Teaching over the years has encouraged me to let go (some), to know that it doesn't have to be perfect and most importantly it is usually the process, not the product.  That is where all the great memories come from. 
Sounds good right, like I have learned my lessons well, oh sure, until something that has been my baby for the past two years is now out of my control.  Now, I chose my replacement well, I have every confidence in her, I really do!  But, how do I really let go?  And truthfully, if balloons aren't there, or we don't have enough ice for the water, is it really going to be the end of the world?  No, definitely not, I do know that.  I'm practicing a new mantra these days, "It is what it is."  Well, I'm saying that with lots of deep calming breaths... 



Jayden, Will, and Amy with Amy's
new car.

Wow, so much packed into this Sunday so far, it feels like it should be much later.
Last night I went to the 50th birthday party of my good friend Christie.  I used to work with her, but she retired at the end of the school year last year.  It was great seeing her and some of my other co-workers in a relaxed atmosphere.  The food was amazing and there was an open bar... what could be better?  I am grateful to have a wonderful friend like Christie and was thrilled to have been invited to her amazing party. 
This morning I took my son and his friend (who has been staying with us for the weekend) to the high school for football pictures.  They play for the Midget team in our local Pop Warner league.  They had to listen to me lecture all the way there about how the individual pictures are for us moms.  They can frown and look tough in the group shot, but for the individual, I want to see some teeth!  Of course they kept parents away from the photo area (afraid we will snap our own shots and not buy theirs I guess) so who knows what I will end up with.
We came home to freshly made french toast, courtesy of Amy.  What a sweet girl she is.  She actually has been loving having a second little brother around.  He keeps her brother entertained so he hasn't been in her space so much.  Plus, Jayden (Will's friend) is so well behaved, he is a pleasure for me to have around.
But I guess the big news today is that Amy and I went to test drive (and buy) a car for her.  It is the same age she is.  Funny since my first car was my age too.  A big shout out goes to our football team equipment manager, who is the general manager at a local dealership.  He found the car for us and gave us a great deal.  Sometimes I guess it really isn't "what" you know, but "who" you know.  Thanks Mr. Rutledge!  Amy is a happy girl.  School starts on Wednesday, so she is super happy to drive her own car, instead of Dad's old pick-up.  I don't blame her, I always feel like Miss Fanny (from the movie Robots) when I drive his truck.
With the rest of the day ahead of me and all my chores done, I think I foresee a nap in my future.  Have a peaceful Sunday everyone.

It's Saturday!

Well here we are again, I can at least say I made it two days in a row!  That is reason enough to celebrate, isn't it?  The morning started bright and early.  My daughter has an out of town volleyball tournament today, oh, their first game of the day should have started as I am writing - Go Amy!!  Anyway, I am not with her because the scheduling gods also planned my son's opening day football game on the same day. Since my daughter is older and a driver now, she "gets" to be on her own for the day.  Ugh, do I really have to get into the topic of guilt again?  No, not going there today. 
But here is a topic I would like to talk about though.  Why is it that activities can not be spaced out evenly?  Last weekend I had four over-lapping events, today I have three. Now you know, I wouldn't be complaining if they were, say, a manicure, massage, and facial.  That would be a dream.  Nope, they are events my kids have to attend.  I know, I know, it is all my fault.  I'm the one who signs them up for these things.  We are forking over money left and right so they can have all the advantages.  So why am I complaining?  I have no idea. I don't know what else I would rather be doing. I am really proud of the two of them, I love how belonging to something greater than themselves has built up their character.  My original reasoning for registering them in several activities per year was to keep them too busy to get into trouble, but let's be honest here... they are so much easier to deal with at home when they are worn out from workouts!  Less fighting with each other, and so much more compliant with Mom and Dad.  That, is what has been the bonus.  When I think of the respectful, young people they have become, I am happy to fill my days watching and cheering them on.

The Beginning 8-26-11

So as the title says, it is the beginning.  Firstly it is the beginning of my blogging.  I have never done this before.  I have never before been very successful at keeping up with writing in a diary (remember those?).  So this will be a huge challenge for me.  Anyway, I am attempting to keep a record of a year in my life, if nothing else, it will provide insight into my thoughts and actions for my children.  Secondly, it is the beginning of my children growing up and going away.  This is my daughter's last year of high school.  Where she goes from here?  Well, you will find out along with me.  Thirdly, my husband is an officer in the CA Army National Guard.  It has been a little over five glorious years since his return from an Iraqi deployment, so a future deployment is looming on the horizon.  And lastly, this will be the beginning of a concience exploration of where I fit in this world.  Am I a mom first? Wife first? Daughter first?  How do I balance it all, AND keep everyone sane and happy?   ...including me. 

So, let's get started.  Today began as every other.  Multi-tasking.  Laundry, breakfast, phone call with hubby, and for some unknown reason, checking out facebook status changes.  Why I do that, I have no idea.  Facebook is an enormous time-sucker for me.  Anyway, all the while I am doing all these things, I have the overall guilt of "why aren't you out exercising?"  I am one of those perpetual dieters and I am trying to balance that with more exercise. 
I am a lot more active than I used to be, but it seems to be a vicious circle.  The more I exercise, the better I feel, so I try to exercise more, but my guilt is enormous when I don't get out there as often as I should and workout.  I am starting to surround myself with people who are active and encouraging, but that also adds to the guilt, "if I worked out more, I could look like they do," or worse, "I'll never look like they do."  So what do I do about the guilt?  I used to wash it down with a glass of wine and a chocolate chip cookie (or two).  Now, well, I'm not sure... in the past year or so I started running and it seems to have helped.  Using the word "running" is probably a gross over exaggeration for me.  I think there are plenty of people who walk as fast as I run, but oh well, it is about getting out there and moving, right?  Well, that is what I keep telling myself.  I have run a few races, mostly 5K, a couple 5 mile, and once I did a 10K.  I won't be doing a 10K again.  Why? Well, let me tell you.  I hate running.  I keep waiting for this runner's high to kick in... I think it is a myth, probably invented by running shoe companies to keep us buying new shoes.  So now on to the question you are all asking.  "Why do you run?  Why not do something else?  I know, I ask myself that all the time.  It all started because my dear neighbor asked me to do a 5K with her.  I agreed, thinking that it would encourage me to excercise regularly.  I found out later it was actually was a 5 mile race, so I trained hard (cursing her name) for 6 weeks.  I increased from non-runner to 5 miler.  I was impressed with myself, in short, I got cocky.  I started to think of myself as a runner, weird, I know.  So now here I am, running is my go-to exercise.  I think I keep at it because it is easy.  Not physically, definitely not that, but it is something that I can just step out my front door and do.  I don't need special gear, although my running shoes are pretty cute.
Well, this "runner" is feeling the guilt double time right now, not only did I miss the cool weather this morning for my run, but I have been ignoring the dryer for long enough.  Time to get back to my multi-tasking.