It's Just Too Easy For Me...Unfortunately

So, I had one of those weeks.  I got overwhelmed with life and I missed my workouts for two days.  I know now that really was the catalyst.  The not working out.  I missed my workout on Thursday because I stayed up too late on Wednesday, so the alarm clock was ringing at 4:30 am it was just too much, plus it has been oppressively hot here lately.  The temperature is not so high, but lots of humidity.  Anyway, when it is already 80 degrees outside at 4:30 am, I know my garage (workout room) has not cooled off during the night.  So I just hit snooze and went back to sleep.  Well, when Friday came around and I did the same thing, and that is when all the negative self talk started.  And truly it is an easy habit I fall into.  Not sure where it came from, but I've done it for years.  When I was younger, it was not as defeating, but over time I have become especially good at it.  That voice in my head telling me I'm too fat, not smart enough, too loud, not pretty enough, not rich enough, I'll never make it, I always fall short.  At my age now, I'm really good at finding specific flaws, my hair is too thin, thighs are too thick, too many wrinkles, I'm too this or not enough that.  I would NEVER speak to anyone the way I talk to myself.  And why do I do that??  Where did I learn that??  I guess those are questions for a therapist.  I just know that it has to change.  It has never helped me get out of a slump, so it just needs to STOP!

 

The good thing is that this time, I realized what I was doing pretty quickly.  I'm actually very happy about that.  For the past thirty-odd years, I would have let this moment defeat me.  I would have slid backwards and let it get the better of me.  Not only putting me in a slight depression, but I would have slowly (or quickly) gained back the weight I've lost and probably added a few more.  This time was different, not only because I recognized it starting, but I also gave it a name and talked about it.  I realized what it could do to me and what triggered it.  The truth is when I stopped exercising, that is when my mind freaked out.  I believe that is because I was now missing out on the natural high that exercise provides.  There are all sorts of articles I've read that talk about exercise causing the release of endorphins, like this excerpt from WebMD:
Improved self-esteem is a key psychological benefit of regular physical activity. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain (physical and emotional).

So I think that catching it early, realizing the negativity for what it is, and then working to solve the problem instead of criticizing myself for my mistakes, should help me overcome those negative feelings.  I've also decided to give myself permission to slip up occasionally, I am human after all.  Is life really worth living without an occasional piece of cake?  I think not!  I am learning that even though my workouts are tough and I'm not very fond of them while I'm in the sweaty middle of it all, they do help me to keep a positive outlook on the outside world and where I fit into it all.  Life is not always smooth sailing, and honestly I'm sure any sailor will tell you that sailing is a lot of hard work (even though they enjoy it).  When I started my weight loss and fitness journey back it April, I knew it was going to be a lifestyle change for me this time.  It was not going to be something that I just did for a short time and then stopped once I got to my goal weight.  I just never realized back then, that my body would NEED to workout to keep my brain on an even keel.  (sheesh! you'd think I was a sailor over here with all my references!!)  I have always drawn the line from eating well and how I felt, compared to eating junk and paying for it for days!  It is good to know that my body has accepted this new way of life and will "encourage" me to keep up with my fitness too, as long as I pay attention to what it is telling me.

 

Lastly, I want to reference this last picture.  A few years ago I read the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.  If you haven't read it, I recommend it.  It talks about the power of attraction.  The book said whatever you think about, you bring to your life.  So for instance, if I constantly thought about how fat and worthless I was, I would bring things into my life that would prove that to be true.  Have you ever noticed when something goes wrong and you get upset, then it is like everything that can go wrong does?  Well the same is true if you are feeling confident and grateful for all you have in your life, then you bring more good into your life.  I'm over simplifying it, but I'm sure you get the point.  The reason I am bringing it up is that I really noticed this week, how I was letting my negative thoughts about myself, control how I was feeling.  I need to be more mindful about keeping a positive attitude so that I bring more positivity into my life.  Who doesn't need a little more positivity??